


Only You

by wematch



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Andrew and Neil make a deal, Canon Divergence, Columbia - Freeform, Drinking, Exy, Jealous Andrew, Kissing, M/M, Making Out, Mentions of the past, Neil get his hair cut, Panic Attack, People hitting on Neil, Protective Andrew Minyard, Sharing Clothes, Sharing a Bed, Slow Burn, Smoking, Touching, clueless Neil
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-08
Updated: 2018-08-25
Packaged: 2019-06-07 10:49:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 16,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15217538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wematch/pseuds/wematch
Summary: In their second year a deal is made. Andrew wants to explore his boundaries and there’s really just one person he trusts around himself.Set in a universe where everything is the same except that Andrew never kissed Neil on the rooftop that night. Instead, they just got closer and more comfortable around each other.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> For this story I imagined that in their second year they were a lot closer and more comfortable around each other and that ultimately is the base for this story.
> 
> I’ve never had therapy so I’m sorry if the mention to Bee’s session seems too unrealistic and something a therapist would never say to a patient but I needed it for the fic to work.
> 
> Hope you like it!

When his last class of the morning ends, Neil stops at the entrance of the building to wait for Andrew as they have a class in the same building before lunch. He immediately tenses when a girl he recognizes from his previous class stops in front of him.

She’s been trying to talk to him ever since second year started just a few weeks ago. He watches as people exit the building to go to lunch while she begins to ramble excitedly. Neil barely listens to it; he gives her short and boring answers when she pauses, hoping that it makes her realize he’s not interested in chatting and starts to wonder where the hell Andrew is.

She begins to move closer to him, making Neil curse internally as he starts to look in the direction of the cars, looking for Andrew’s blond hair wondering if he had left earlier. He’s considering just going and waiting by the car when a hand comes to rest on the back of his neck. The familiar touch relaxes him and he doesn’t even need to look to know that Andrew has finally arrived. The girl notices Andrew at Neil’s side, and then the hand on his neck, and begins to look uncomfortably in Andrew’s direction.

“Um I’m sorry, maybe not over coffee then. I’ll just talk to you about the assignment in class?” She says, eyes turning back to Neil.

“Uh, yeah?” Neil answers, not entirely following.

“He’s not interested, so you can just go,” Andrew tells her with a bored tone.

“Right, sorry,” she says with a blush and hurries to move away from them.

Oh, she must have been hitting on him, Neil thinks and rubs his eyes. Allison would have loved to witness this. She finds it hilarious whenever people try to hit on Neil and how uncomfortable it makes him feel.

Andrew removes his hand and Neil turns to look at him. “Thanks,” he says gratefully; it’s hard enough to figure out when people are trying to hit on him — even after Allison took pity on him and tried to give him some tips about it — but it’s even harder to make them understand that he’s just not interested.

“Shut up,” Andrew tells him, and begins to descend the stairs. Neil is quick to follow him and together they walk towards the car. They find the others already waiting for them so they enter the vehicle and make the short drive to go to practice.

***

At the end of practice, Neil waits in the hallway for the others to finish getting ready so that they can go back together to the dorm when Allison walks out of the girl’s locker room and stops in front of him. She looks disapproving. “When are you going to let me cut your hair?”

Neil passes a hand through his damp hair thinking that it’s the second time she’s mentioned it this week. He doesn’t really care about his hair but the truth is that it’s getting longer than he usually lets it. “Fine,” he agrees after a moment,”when can you do it?”

“We can do it when we get back to the dorms,” she says giving him a bright smile, “come on, you’re coming with me today,” and turns on her heels to walk towards the exit.

Neil looks sideways to where Andrew is currently leaning against the wall, wanting to let him know that he’s returning with Allison but he’s distracted when Kevin storms off the locker room. He watches Kevin for a moment looking pissed but decides he doesn’t really care so he looks in the direction of Andrew again. He finds him already studying him and after a moment of staring, he brings two fingers to his forehead in a mocking salute so Neil grabs his bag and follows Allison outside, letting Andrew deal with whatever is bothering Kevin.

Once they reach the girl’s bedroom Allison brings a chair from the living room into the bathroom and makes him sit in it. “How much can I cut?” she asks.

“Do whatever you want,” Neil tells her and sits still while she moves around the small bathroom grabbing some objects.

A few moments pass and they hear the door open indicating that the others have also arrived so Allison speaks louder for them to hear her properly in the other room. ”Come over here!”

Dan comes into the bathroom followed by Renee that chooses to stay near the door. “Oh, what are you going to do?” Dan asks her curiously.

Allison looks at Neil thoughtfully for a moment. “I've been thinking about shaving the sides and leaving the top with a bit more length.”

“That sounds lovely,” Renee says giving Neil a tentative smile before she walks away.

“Yeah, it's going to look great,” Dan agrees and follows Renee into the living room.

Allison opens a drawer and takes out a small bag, then she looks at him again. “Neil?”

“Do it,” Neil tells her. He trusts her with this, and it's hair — it will grow back soon enough if he doesn't like it.

“Now, stay still,” she tells him and opens the bag to take out the scissors. “Don't move unless I tell you to.”

Neil zones out while she cuts his hair, staying as still as possible until her voice brings him back to the present. “Okay, it's done,” she says proudly. “Have a look in the mirror,” she adds when she steps away from him.

Neil gets up and runs his hands through his hair, getting used to the feeling of the shaved hair on the sides. “Thanks,” he tells her sincerely as he moves to get out of the bathroom without glancing in the mirror.

Once he steps out of the bathroom Dan and Renee both tell him that the cut looks great as he passes them on the way to the door and Allison comes to stand near the bathroom door. “Come back anytime,” she tells him with a grin and Neil nods in her direction before he exits their dorm room.

***

He immediately notices that something went wrong at Bee’s session when the twins get back to court and Andrew decides not to join the rest of practice. Wisely, no one says anything to him about it. And once practice is over, the drive to the fox tower is quiet; even Nicky seems to pick up on the tense mood between the twins and keeps his mouth shut.

Once they arrive at the dorms he’s not surprised to see Andrew continue up the stairs to the rooftop. Neil considers following him but decides to give him some time to cool off. He goes to his desk instead to try to work on some math homework while Kevin sits on the beanbag with his laptop replaying old games. He stays focused on his work until Nicky knocks on their door to ask about what they should order for dinner, and that’s when Neil decides to go and find Andrew.

He climbs the stairs, forces the access door and steps into the rooftop. He sees Andrew at their usual spot and comes to sit near him leaving a just a few inches between them.

“Bee and I had an interesting conversation today,” Andrew says after a few moments without turning to look at Neil.

“What happened with Aaron?” Neil asks, noticing that Andrew only mentioned Bee.

“I made him leave the room earlier,” Andrew tells him slowly. Neil can see him struggling to find the right words to share with him, so he remains quiet watching campus beneath them. “We were talking about boundaries,” he pauses for a moment, then he continues with a bored tone, “and Aaron had the smart idea to bring you up to the conversation.”

Neil doesn’t like where this is going, Andrew never shared too many details of his sessions with him before, and to know that they were talking about him makes him uncomfortable. “Why?”

“Don’t make questions you already know the answer to.”

Neil thinks about it for a moment and slowly nods in understanding. He’s the only person that Andrew allows to be close to him, and Aaron had already used it against Andrew last year to break the deal with his brother and ultimately allowing him to stay with Katelyn. “Fine, what’s so interesting about that?”

“Bee’s interested in the part where I’m comfortable around you.”

“Okay,” Neil starts, not really sure how that could be helpful, “and how does she think that could help?”

“Now, you’re finally asking the right question,” Andrew points out. He takes his pack of cigarettes out, lights one, and takes a long drag before he answers. “Short version is that according to her, human contact is important. It can—” he glances at Neil before he continues. “It can help...and someone I can trust, that respects my limits, can help me to be more comfortable with it.”

Neil hums to let Andrew know that he heard him, but he becomes lost in thought for a few moments thinking about what Andrew just told him. Bee wants Andrew to see how far he can let someone touch him? Not just someone, she wants Neil to do it. And Andrew wouldn’t be telling him this unless he was considering it.

He knows that Andrew is very firm on what he’s okay with, and knowing what he’s been through, Neil can’t blame it at all. He has problems with people getting too close to him too. But he imagines Andrew giving him permission to touch him. It would be strange, but not unwelcome, he finds that he quite likes the idea of Andrew trusting him enough to allow it to happen. And Neil’s fine when it’s Andrew that occasionally touches him because he knows him, and trusts him. And he wants Andrew to trust him with this too.

The cigarette is long gone when Neil eventually speaks. “How about a little deal?” he proposes, thinking that Andrew always likes to be even.

Andrew stares at him with a calculated expression. ”What do you have in mind?”

Neil thinks about what Andrew could possibly help him with and remembers what happened earlier in the week and how easily Andrew made the girl disappear. “If you help me get rid of those people that keep wanting to talk to me, I’ll help you with this. If you want.”

“You mean the people trying to hit on you,” Andrew corrects him.

Neil pointedly ignores his correction and steals the pack of cigarettes from his hand. “Yes or no, Andrew?”

“Yes,” Andrew replies and steals back the pack of cigarettes from Neil in a quick motion.

 


	2. Chapter 2

Neil walks out of the cafe and lets the door bang on its way out. He feels his cheeks start to flush when he glances at the free coffees he’s carrying. He tried to refuse but the guy insisted so he thanked him and rushed to get out. He mentally curses when he stops in front of Nicky and Matt and they immediately start laughing. “You should’ve seen the look on your face,” Nicky says once he calms down.

“Shut up,” Neil says glaring. “Can we just go now?” and shoves the coffee cup holder into Matt’s chest.

“Oh man, I can’t believe that he actually offered you the coffees,” Matt says looking at the coffee holder in awe.

They watched the whole thing happening from the window and Neil feels exposed, all this attention is unwelcome and he’s just tired of all of it so he starts pulling his sleeves down out of reflex.

“You know what we should do?” Nicky asks, grinning at Matt. “We should send him in there every day, imagine all the free stuff we could get!”

“No,” Neil says immediately; he has had enough of this. He grabs the coffee holder from Matt’s hands and starts to walk away.

Nicky and Matt stare at his back confused until it becomes clear where he’s headed. “Wait, what are you doing?” Matt says once he realizes that Neil is walking in the direction of the bin.

“Is he— Neil this was just a joke!” Nicky says pleading, “Don’t do it!”  

“Go get your damn coffee from now on,” Neil says looking at them pissed and drops the container into the trash.

“Such a waste of good coffee,” Matt whines still not quite believing what he just witnessed.

Neil turns and starts to walk away, ignoring them calling his name and sets a quick pace that quickly turns into him running in the direction of the Fox Tower.

Running feels good — it allows him to clear his head. Once he reaches the dorms he jogs the stairs up to the roof. His breathing is uneven when he reaches the rooftop access door, the cold air welcome against his skin but Neil still feels the urge to get out of the building and run until there’s nothing else to focus on and his legs give out. The frustration he’s feeling must be visible on his face because Andrew spares him one look and asks, “What happened now?”

“Now I know why your cousin and Matt find it hilarious to send me to the coffee shop and order their stuff while they wait by the door,” Neil says bitterly while he sits down.

Andrew clenches his fists before he answers. “The guy with the piercings?”

“Yeah,” Neil replies, not really surprised that Andrew had figured it out. Just a few days ago he had been there with Andrew and the others, but on that day the guy on the counter hadn’t given him anything and didn’t try to ask him personal information like he had done today.

“I’ll deal with it,” Andrew says after a moment.

“Okay, but you don’t have to beat up everyone who annoys me.”

“Hm that’s an interesting idea,” Andrew says tilting his head to the side. “But we made a deal, and I think I just need to make the message clear enough for him to back off.”

“Okay, then,” Neil says, he isn’t sure what Andrew has in mind and he isn’t entirely sure if this deal was a good idea to begin with but he doesn’t put much more thought into it, trusting Andrew to deal with it without his knives.

***

The next day, Neil finishes his classes and finds Andrew outside of his building waiting for him, and as soon as he spots Neil he turns around and begins to walk away. Neil is quick to follow and as soon as Andrew doesn’t turn to go to the parking lot and continues straight in the direction of the coffee shop Neil sighs loudly and follows along.

Andrew stops near the entrance, looks inside and seems satisfied with what he finds when he turns to look at Neil. “Why don’t you go in and order something?”

“Fine,” Neil says rolling his eyes and walks inside towards the counter.

“Hi there, what can I get you today?” the guy — the same one from yesterday with a name tag indicating that his name is Liam — asks him smiling.

“A black coffee,” Neil tells him as he sees in the corner of his eye Andrew entering the shop and casually stopping in front of the display window as if he was another customer deciding on what to order. It’s still unclear what Andrew has in mind so Neil remains where he is waiting for his coffee.

“Can I get you anything else?” Liam asks when he returns with the coffee.

“No, thanks,” Neil answers, but he notices Andrew eyeing the donuts and thinks he might as well order something for him too. “Wait, give me one of those chocolate donuts,” he says pointing to the display.

“Sure thing,” Liam replies and when he places the small package containing the donut in the counter he adds, “it’s on the house.”

“Uhm, thanks,” Neil says immediately beginning to feel uncomfortable. It’s the second time Liam’s offered him products and Neil has to wonder how this guy makes a decent profit at the end of the day if he doesn’t charge his customers.

“Oh, isn’t he nice, giving you gifts,” Andrew says glaring at the guy while stepping closer to Neil.

“Oh, it’s nothing,” The guy says, but his smile starts to falter once he sees the murderous expression that is starting to form on Andrew’s face.

“He’s not available, so you can just fuck off,” Andrew tells him with a menacing tone straight to the point.

Neil almost feels bad for the guy when he sees him wincing from Andrew’s tone. Almost. But Andrew kept his word, of course he did, he had told Neil he only needed to make the message clearer and that’s exactly what he just did. Neil quickly grabs his wallet and puts a note on the counter to pay for his order, knowing that it’s time to leave and Andrew grabs the package with the donut and the coffee with one hand, and with the other he grabs Neil sleeve to pull him towards the door.

Once they step out of the coffee shop Andrew lets go of his sleeve, and they begin to walk in the direction of the car side by side. Andrew starts eyeing the coffee before passing it to Neil. “Pathetic,” he says with a bored tone.

Neil, curious, looks at the container and notices the phone number written on it. “What–” he starts to ask about what it means but he remembers Allison mentioning passing phone numbers as one way to try to talk more with someone you were interested in and closes his mouth. Damn it; if Allison was here she would never let this go.

***

Like most nights, Neil silently follows Andrew to the rooftop when they get back from night practice with Kevin. Once he finishes climbing the stairs and opens the access door, he finds Andrew already lighting two cigarettes for them. Neil walks to his side and sits only an inch away from him and accepts the cigarette Andrew passes over.

When Andrew finishes his cigarette, he turns to Neil with a calculated expression and motions for Neil to take his hand from his pocket. Neil, confused, turns to the side and sits with his legs crossed to face Andrew and puts his hand in front of them. After a moment, Andrew grabs his wrist and stares at their hands.

“We don’t have to do this,” Neil says, realizing what this is about.

“No, we don’t,” Andrew agrees and squeezes his wrist.

“But you want to,” Neil concludes.

Andrew doesn’t bother giving him an answer; instead, he brings Neil’s hand near his face. He stops just an inch away from his hair. “I don’t think you realize what this means.”

“I think I do,” Neil says looking him in the eyes. He’s been thinking about it ever since they made their deal, and he keeps thinking about what Andrew told him months ago at Eden’s Twilight that turned his world upside down. At the time it was a lot to process but now, the urge to reach out and discover how Andrew would feel under his touch is there, has been there for a while now. He was never curious about these things before but somehow Andrew is different, he makes him want to discover, to explore this.

Andrew gives his hand one final squeeze and places it on his hair. “Just here,” he says and lets go.

Neil nods, and slowly moves his hand through his hair, noticing that it’s thinner and smoother than his own. Andrew stays still, watching Neil, and neither of them says anything. Neil pays close attention to Andrew’s reactions, and once he sees his shoulders relaxing Neil lets his hand slowly travel from his side to where his short hair ends by his neck.

Suddenly Andrew grabs his wrist again and Neil immediately stills as he waits for Andrew’s next move, thinking that this was enough for today. So he can’t help but be surprised when Andrew slightly brings his arm down, bringing Neil’s hand to his neck. He lets it rest there for a few moments, and Neil lets himself enjoy the feeling of Andrew’s warm skin under his own until Andrew, who had kept his hand on Neil’s wrist, pulls it away.

Andrew without a word turns back to stare at the campus, lits a cigarette and takes a long drag. Neil stares at his hand resting on his lap, unsure about what to do now. Then the wind blows the smoke into Neil’s face and he takes a deep breath letting the smell of smoke ground him. He closes his hand that just moments ago was touching Andrew and looks up at Andrew’s profile in front of him. He tries to fight the urge to grin when the realization that he liked being able to touch Andrew hits him, and that Andrew had really trusted him to do this. Neil still isn’t sure how this could help Andrew in any way, but if Andrew wanted this, he was fine with it.

 


	3. Chapter 3

Neil throws the ball at Kevin, but Andrew intercepts the ball easily and throws it to the other side of the court — almost catching Mike’s feet in the process. Neil furrows his brow and runs to the middle of the court. He knows that Andrew has been making Mike a target at practice since yesterday he just hasn’t figured out the why yet.

Minutes later, Neil winces as he watches Mike get successfully hit on the head, making him stumble and lose the grip on his racket which drops to the floor. The whole team stops at the sound of it echoing through the walls and Allison snorts at the whole situation; Neil sees some of the others trying to hide their grins, while others don’t hide them at all. Mike finally done, takes off his helmet, throws it to the floor, and begins to walk in the direction of Andrew. Neil curses under his breath and runs to try to stop him, but Matt, who’s right behind Mike, immediately grabs him.

Once Neil reaches them, he tells them all to take a break, and it’s only when Matt pushes Mike out of the court and closes the door behind them that Neil jogs to where Andrew is and stops right in front of him to catch his attention. “We can’t play if you injure him,“ he points out.

Andrew looks bored and rests his racket on his shoulders. “Maybe he should focus more on learning how to play, instead of on your ass.”

Embarrassed, Neil starts to blush and takes his helmet off. Mike isn’t completely stupid, Kevin had picked him for the team because he had potential so the dumb questions about Exy in the last couple of practices weren’t making any sense. Until now. He runs his hand through the hair that Allison hadn’t shaved at the top unsure of what to think about this. “Can we just focus on the real problem here?”

“You are the problem,“ Andrew points out. “You don’t shut them down clearly enough.”

“I can’t just ignore him; I’m vice-captain,” Neil replies, ignoring the fact that Andrew is not just talking about Mike.

“I’m getting tired of people not getting the message,” Andrew says in a bored tone, but the message is clear as water to Neil. They made a deal and Andrew is going to hold his part of it no matter what.

Neil grimaces and wonders if this will become a problem for the team. He just wants to be left alone. “Just don’t injure him,” he says firmly before he starts to jog to the middle of the court again.

Once practice is over and they’re about to head off from the locker rooms, Nicky comes to talk to Neil excitedly about the trip to Columbia they’re going to make as soon as they leave the stadium. Neil distracted by Nicky, takes his bag from the locker and without noticing knocks his empty bottle to the floor. Mike who was in the lockers in front of them rushes to catch it from the floor and when it’s clear that Neil hadn’t even noticed him picking it up, he grabs Neil arm to catch his attention and give it to him.

Immediately, Neil jumps back at the unexpected touch and one second later Andrew is pushing Mike against the lockers with a knife to his throat.

“What the f—” Mike starts.

“I’ll only say this once,” Andrew interrupts him. “Don’t touch him again unless he tells you to.”

Matt is about to reach Andrew and Neil puts himself on the way. “Don’t,” he tells him, and Matt looks between Andrew and Neil, and stops just a few inches away from them.

“I just wanted—” Mike stops talking mid-sentence when Andrew presses the knife closer to his throat making him wince.

Matt steps closer almost touching Neil, so Neil tries to take a step back but feels Andrew’s arm against his back. He puts his arm in Matt’s path in a last attempt for Matt not get involved. “Let them talk,” he insists and receives a warning look from Matt but Neil doesn’t back down so Matt remains where he is.

After seeing from the corner of his eye that Matt has stopped coming his way, Andrew turns his attention to Mike once again. “Let me make myself clear, he’s not interested so leave him alone. Got it? Or next time I won’t play nice,” he warns him in a low tone that Neil struggles to hear.

“Okay, I just didn’t know—”

“What the fuck is going on here?” Wymack interrupts Mike when he enters the locker room and takes in what’s happening. “Let him go now, Minyard.”

Andrew steps back and turns to face Wymack over Neil. “Don’t worry coach, our little chat is done now,” Andrew says and turns his attention back to Mike’s terrified face while he puts his knife away.

No one moves until Andrew steps around Neil and grabs his bag. Then he starts to walk in the direction of the entrance.“ Let’s go,” he says without looking back.

Neil immediately moves to grab his own bag and follow Andrew outside but when he’s about to pass Wymack by the door, he’s stopped by a hand in front of him.

“Do we have a problem here?” Wymack asks, studying Neil.

“No, Coach,” Neil tells him, and when Wymack doesn’t remove his hand he adds, “Andrew gave him a fair warning, there won’t be a problem unless Mike doesn’t listen.”

Nicky stops right behind Neil, wanting to leave the locker room as soon as possible after what happened. He looks curiously between Neil and the coach to see what’s the hold-up, but Wymack removes his hand and nods at Neil understanding the implications of what could happen if Mike kept pushing Andrew’s patience. “I’ll talk to him,” he says to Neil, then he turns to the others. “Now, get out of my sight!”

“Yes, Coach!” Neil and Nicky half shout before exiting with Kevin and Aaron right behind them.

As soon as Andrew sees them stepping out of the doors, he takes a long drag of his cigarette, lets it drop to the floor, and steps on it before he enters the vehicle. The others don’t take long to enter the car. They make a short stop at the dorms to change clothes and grab their stuff for the weekend and then they head out to Columbia.

***

They pull up into the parking lot at Sweetie’s to eat dessert for dinner like they’ve done many times before. After they’re done eating they head off to Eden’s Twilight and by the time they reach the club, it’s fully packed and it takes them a while to find an empty table. Once they find one, Neil follows Andrew to the bar to pick up the drinks while the others stay at the table.

Neil stops right behind Andrew when he manages to reach the counter. It doesn’t take long for Andrew to see Roland looking up in their general direction and signal to them. Neil curses when he feels himself being slightly pushed towards Andrew by the crowd. He turns toward the person that bumped into him to give him an annoyed look, but the guy behind him immediately starts to smile apologetically. “Oh, hey sorry about that,” the guy starts, “how about I pay you—”

“How about no,” Andrew interrupts him annoyed, turning his head around to look at the guy. “Just go.”

The guy puts his hands in the air and turns around,looking unbothered. They both watch him leave and Neil is about to speak when Roland’s voice comes right behind them. “I’d appreciate if you don’t scare the customers away,” he says, but when Neil turns to look back at the counter he finds him only smirking at them.

“Piss off,” Andrew tells him.

“Relax, that was fun to watch,” Roland says looking between the two of them. “So, the usual?” He asks, placing two shots in front of them.

Andrew drinks the shot and answers, “Yeah.”

“Alright, I’ll be right back,” Roland says moving to the end of the counter to prepare their drinks.

Andrew then looks at Neil and when Neil shakes his head, he grabs the other shot and drinks it too in a quick motion.

Not long after, Rolland appears in front of them with a tray full of drinks, so Neil makes a path for Andrew to follow him with the tray towards the others. Once they get to the table Kevin and Aaron start to drink so fast that one would think they were in a competition to see who can get completely wasted first, and soon they head off towards the dance floor with Nicky, leaving Neil and Andrew behind as usual.

***

The next day they’re all in the living room watching a movie when Andrew silently gets up. At the movement, Neil looks up and meets his eyes for a second, and Andrew motions with his head for him to follow.

They go outside and sit on the steps. Andrew lights a cigarette takes a long drag and passes it to Neil, who lets it burn down between his fingers. They keep sharing it in silence until it’s done, then Andrew extends his arm as if waiting for something. It takes a moment for Neil to understand what, but then he copies the movement and extends his arm too.

Andrew puts his hand palm up to Neil and keeps staring in front of them. “Go on, if you want,” Andrew tells him quietly. Neil slowly reaches for it and pulls Andrew’s hand towards him barely touching him. Andrew says nothing about it so Neil takes it as a good sign and inspects his hand. He can feel the warmth of his skin and the callous in his hands just like the ones he has. He turns Andrew’s hand and traces every small scar with his finger. Then he moves his hand under Andrew’s and grabs it for a moment.

Neil studies their hands together wondering what exactly they’re doing; what it all means to them. All he knows is that he doesn’t want to stop it, he wants to memorize every inch of Andrew.

The sound of footsteps coming towards them snaps Neil out of his thoughts and he lets go of Andrew’s hand the moment Kevin opens the door. Neil turns his head to face him wanting to know the reason he’s interrupting them and Andrew doesn’t move at all.

“Tomorrow can we go back to campus sooner?” Kevin asks, looking at Andrew’s back.

“If you’re going to ask me to go back earlier on a Sunday because you want to practice think again,” Andrew responds without moving to look at Kevin.

“We need to practice there’s a game coming up,” Kevin insists, now choosing to look at Neil in search of support.

“We can practice Monday,” Neil tells him, he loves playing Exy but right now he’s annoyed at Kevin for interrupting them and he just wants him to leave them alone.

Kevin glares at him for siding with Andrew. “Monday night we’re going to practice until later,” he tells them pissed.

“Fuck off,” Andrew says, clearly done with the conversation and Kevin turns to leave slamming the door behind himself.

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Neil has a small panic attack in this chapter, but Andrew is there for him. If you have any concerns feel free to talk to me before reading :)

After his morning run, Neil comes back to the dorm and checks the time on the microwave to see how much time he has before the others wake up. He sips a full bottle of water while he rests and when there are only a few minutes before the alarm goes off in the bedroom, he starts to make a pot of coffee.

Once the coffee is ready, he pours a mug for himself and rests on the counter with his hands around the mug to warm his hands. After a few moments, Andrew comes out of the bedroom still looking half asleep with his hair messy going in every direction and his eyes barely open. He stops near Neil and takes the mug from his hands murmuring, “idiot.”

“That was mine,” Neil tells him, not even bothering to move.

“Oh?” Andrew says, opening the fridge to take the milk out. ”You’re right, it was,” he agrees and moves around the kitchen to add milk and then sugar into the drink. Once he’s done preparing it he comes back to Neil’s side and leans back against the counter.

He sips his coffee while Neil stares at him. “Want it back?” Andrew asks, turning his head to the side to look back at Neil. Neil notices the little twitch on the corner of Andrew’s mouth and rolls his eyes. Andrew knows that he likes his coffee with nothing in it so he doesn’t even answer him.

Once Andrew’s done, he places the mug on the counter and points to Neil’s hand. “Yes or no?” he asks, seeming more awake after his coffee.

Neil blinks twice trying to understand what Andrew is proposing before he answers a strong, “yes,” and moves his hand closer to Andrew’s body.

As he previously did, Andrew grabs his wrist and slowly moves Neil’s hand to his neck. Then he lets go, letting his arms stay at his side.

Neil moves his thumb to stroke Andrew’s neck, feeling his pulse vibrating under the touch. Andrew stares at him with such intensity that Neil moves his hand away. “Is this really okay?”

“Yes,” Andrew says, “you can touch me in here too,” he adds motioning to Neil’s own chest.

Neil places his hand back on Andrew’s chest, moving it slowly to feel Andrew’s body through the fabric of his shirt. He pauses when he feels Andrew’s heart beating fast under his palm. “You can do it too you know,” Neil says.“If you want.”

“That wasn’t the deal.”

“I know,” Neil tells him, still focusing on his hand and the rhythm of Andrew’s heart beneath it. Then he bites his lip and adds, “I’m just saying that it’s a yes if you want to.” He’s been thinking about Andrew touching him, about how that would feel ever since Andrew let Neil touch him the first time.

He feels Andrew inching closer and doesn’t move; they’re standing so close now that Neil’s own heart starts beating impossibly faster. He doesn’t dare to meet Andrew’s eyes and he’s soon distracted by the hand that comes to rest in his stomach and begins to move around to explore. Neil slowly begins to move his hand too; he’s too aware of their proximity and every touch shared between them. Then when Neil feels Andrew’s hand on the hem of his shirt he stops moving again.

“Neil?” Andrew asks, pausing too.

“It’s still a yes,” Neil answers and stops breathing when he feels Andrew’s hand under his shirt tracing his scars. He risks meeting Andrew’s eyes and they stare at each other while Andrew continues to feel his skin. He remembers the first time he let Andrew feel his scars months ago, right before he went away. And now Neil can’t help but wonder what Andrew finds so interesting in his scars. He’s about to voice his question when they hear a sound coming from the bedroom indicating that Kevin is also awake.

Andrew glances at the door and steps back. Neil immediately misses the closeness from moments ago but decides to turn around to try and calm down. He grabs coffee for himself again, while Andrew moves to sit on his desk with his feet propped up.

Neil is sitting down in one of the beanbags when Kevin walks out of the bedroom and without saying a thing, passes them to start preparing his protein shake. Neil looks up from his mug and finds Andrew glaring at Kevin. He hides his smirk behind his mug knowing that Kevin just made himself Andrew’s target practice for the day. But then Andrew turns his attention back to Neil and mouths, “one hundred and twenty-one, Josten.”

***

“We’re late and Allison has left minutes ago, so what took you so long?” Kevin asks, sounding annoyed when Neil enters the car.

“I took the stairs,” Neil answers him sharply, not really in the mood to deal with Kevin just now. He had needed time to think about what Allison just told him so he took his time to walk to the ground floor.

Once they park the car near the gym, Neil doesn’t move when the others begin to exit the vehicle. He can feel Andrew’s gaze on him, and from the corner of his eye, he can see Andrew opening his door but not moving to get out, and then shutting his door closed again.

Aaron doesn’t glance back as he enters the building, but Kevin stops in front of the car looking annoyed at the two of them still sitting inside until Nicky pushes him towards the gym entrance to leave them alone. They watch the others enter the building and then Neil glances at Andrew unsure about how to tell him what he discovered.

“Spill,” Andrew says when he notices Neil conflicted expression.

Neil sighs; he’s not sure how Andrew is going to take it. “Allison told me that, uhm…” he glances at Andrew again without meeting his eyes, and passes one hand over his hair before he continues. “It seems that the freshmen think we’re together.”

For a moment nothing happens, then he sees Andrew gripping the wheel. “She asked to see you just because of that?”

Neil doesn’t answer him and waits to see if Andrew is going to add more to it. When that doesn’t happen, Neil unfastens his seatbelt and turns on his seat to properly face him, to see if he can read whatever is going on on Andrew’s mind.

They stay quiet in the car until Andrew finally turns to face Neil. “You wanted to be left alone,” he points out. “I don’t think it’s going to be a problem anymore.”

“And you don’t mind it?” _You don’t mind the implication of what it means_ , Neil wants to add but decides against it, it’s clear that Andrew understands what it means perfectly well.

“Do you?” Andrew asks, looking him straight in the eye as if searching for something.

“No,” Neil answers easily. He realizes that maybe he should, things like these weren’t as simple for either of them. If it was anyone else but Andrew, Neil wouldn’t feel the same way about it, but it is Andrew. Andrew, who had made him stay last year, that gave him a key and a home, and this, whatever it was between them it was something. He wasn’t prepared to give it a name yet, but in the end, it didn’t matter what the others said or thought about them. And that was why Neil didn’t care.

“Then let them think whatever they want. I couldn’t care less,” Andrew tells him looking satisfied with whatever he sees in Neil’s face and begins to exit the car. So Neil follows his lead, and together they enter the building.

***

Kevin gets up from the beanbag and begins to walk towards the bedroom, breaking Neil’s concentration from his homework. Neil blinks twice to try to focus — he’s been sitting here since dinner and now that he finally stopped, the realization that it’s time to go to bed hits him. And in a second the nightmares from last night start playing over and over in his head and all he can think about is his father, Riko, and everything that happened last year.

He knows that the nightmares will come again today if he goes to bed now. So he immediately looks to the side in the direction of his shoes thinking that he could go out and try to run around campus before going to bed just to clear his head. But he sees Andrew curled up on the beanbag focused on reading the book Renee gave him earlier and decides to stare at Andrew instead.

Neil isn’t sure how long has passed since Kevin left but Andrew eventually gets tired of it and tells him without looking up, “stop staring.” After a few moments, he closes his book throws it to the side and looks up at Neil. He seems to see something in Neil’s eyes that makes him add, “come here.“

Neil slowly gets up and stops in front of Andrew, kneeling in front of him and waiting. They stare at each other until Andrew moves forward and grabs his chin. “Whatever you’re thinking about, don’t.”

“I–” Neil starts but is immediately stopped by Andrew’s finger against his lips.

“The truth,” Andrew points out, making it clear that he’s not buying Neil’s bullshit, and moves to lean back into the beanbag.

Neil sighs, he starts to think of a way to explain it to Andrew, “I don’t want to–“ he tries to start but it’s hard to talk about it even if Andrew already knows what happened to him, and in a flash he begins to think of his father again and his heart begins to pound on his chest.

“Neil.”

He feels sick just remembering the threats, the knives, Lola in the car…

“Neil, breathe,” Andrew says, and moves forward to be able to grab Neil’s neck.

Neil feels his hand and tries to take a deep breath but it’s starting to get hard to breathe. And he mentally curses when the realization hits him that he’s starting to have a panic attack.

When Andrew gets no response he squeezes Neil’s neck harder. “Abram, focus.”

And Neil does, he focus on Andrew’s steady voice and the hazel eyes searching his own. He focus on the warmth of the hand holding him down, and after a few moments, he seems to be able to breathe properly again.

He feels his head being lightly pushed and then his forehead his resting against Andrew’s chest. Neil closes his eyes and focus on the familiar scent of Andrew around him, and focus on calming down his breathing.

“You’re a mess, Josten.”

“Yeah,” Neil agrees, voice ragged as his breathing returns to normal.

Andrew lets go of him and moves back. Neil immediately misses the proximity and the hand on his neck but doesn’t say a word about it. When he sees Andrew turn the TV on with the sound muted Neil gets up, grabs the beanbag Kevin was previously sitting on and moves it to be right next to Andrew’s. He curls up in it facing Andrew and doesn’t even bother to pretend that he’s watching the TV. That he isn’t staring. And for once, Andrew doesn’t say anything about it.

Not long after, Andrew pulls his hood up and makes himself lay down on the beanbag staring at the TV. Sleep doesn’t come easily to Neil that night, but when he starts to feel too tired to keep his eyes open, he focuses on Andrew’s sleeping form right next to him to keep him grounded to the present.

 


	5. Chapter 5

At practice, everyone is starting to feel the pressure of their next game on Friday. And Kevin has become intolerable with his incessant criticism, which made Andrew aim a few shots at his head that only made Kevin complain louder at everyone else.

When they take a five-minute break Dan stops near Neil. “This isn’t productive,” she tells him, sounding frustrated while glaring at Kevin’s back.

“No, it isn’t,” Neil agrees. Everyone that had been on the team last year is more or less used to Kevin’s way on the court; the new additions to the team, however, are not. And they are the ones receiving the worst of it.

Matt comes to join them looking exhausted. He grabs his water bottle and drinks half of it before he has the energy to speak. “Does he ever shut up?” he mutters, still trying to catch his breath, “I don’t think I can handle ten more minutes of this.”

Dan leans against him, her expression a clear indicator that she agrees. “I’ll go talk to him before we resume practice.”

They stay quiet for a few moments, all sipping water and trying to rest their aching muscles before going back to the court. They all watch Kevin say something to Andrew that makes him pause drinking his energy drink and stare blankly at Kevin. “I could ask Andrew to knock him out,” Neil comments grinning, not taking his eyes away from Andrew.

“Oh, yeah I don’t think he would mind that request,” Matt says once he notices what’s happening. “You’re the only one he listens to anyway,” he comments and shares a look with Dan.

“No,” Dan says firmly and turns her attention away from Kevin. “We need Kevin to win the game,” she reminds them, and then she turns her full attention to Neil. “Don’t ask him to do anything.”

Neil shrugs. “Relax, it was just an idea,” he says, adding, “and he wouldn’t do it anyway.” Whatever Kevin had said was not enough of a reason for Andrew to do something like that. Neil turns around and starts to walk back to court. He can hear Dan whispering something to Matt but he doesn’t turn around. He walks past Andrew and Kevin and without stopping he tells them, “Let’s go,” and Kevin immediately grabs his helmet to follow him to resume their practice.

***

After night practice with Kevin, Andrew and Neil walk the stairs up to the rooftop. They sit in there in silence staring at campus beneath them while Andrew smokes a cigarette.

As he watches the smoke disappear around them, all Neil can think about is going back to Columbia at the end of the week and on how the last time they went there Andrew had let Neil touch him. It makes him think back to the deal they made weeks ago. It’s still hard to believe that Andrew had wanted to do this. Nicky would probably make a scene if he ever found what’s been going on between them.

Neil glances at Andrew who’s calmly staring ahead of them while he finishes his cigarette. After a few moments, he watches Andrew’s fingers stubbing out the cigarette onto the floor and Neil bites his lip. He’s been curious to know if Andrew would allow him to touch him if he asked. He knows not to take offense if the answer is no but he had never tried to touch Andrew before he initiated it. “Can I?” Neil says gesturing in the direction of Andrew’s upper arm.

Andrew tilts his head to the side to see where Neil is pointing and for a moment he only stares at Neil’s hand. ”Yes,” he answers and turns to properly face Neil. ”You can touch me if it’s not anywhere new.”

Neil fights the urge to smile at that and inches closer to Andrew. He places his hand where he initially pointed at and moves slowly from Andrew’s elbow up to his neck and then starts to run his hand down towards his chest. “Is this really okay?” Neil asks, wanting to be sure that he isn’t pushing it too far.

“There’s no ‘this’.”

“You know what I mean, Andrew,” Neil says and brings his other hand up in a silent question. When Andrew nods his acceptance Neil places it on Andrew’s shoulder.

Then he feels a hand come to rest on his waist, and then moving towards his back. He looks up from Andrew’s chest and finds Andrew already studying him. They stay frozen in place staring at each other until Andrew breaks the silence.

“I don't–” Andrew starts, and grabs Neil neck with his other hand, moving slightly closer to him. “It’s fine when it’s you,” he concludes.

Neil feels his heart begin to beat even faster with what Andrew just said. He can’t think of anything to reply to that and a second later the hand on his neck pulls him closer until there’s no space left between them. Andrew kisses him like the world stops and starts with Neil’s mouth.

It takes him a moment for his brain to start working again but then Neil moves his hand to Andrew’s hair in search of something to hold onto.

The kiss is electrifying, Neil has never felt anything like the way Andrew’s chapped lips feel pressed against his own. And he almost wants to complain when not long after, Andrew stops kissing him and moves just enough to ask. “Yes or no to this, Neil?” his lips brushing Neil’s as he speaks.

Andrew’s deep voice, sounding out of breath is almost too much to Neil and it takes him a moment longer than normal to register the question. But he doesn’t want to stop this just yet; it feels too good to stop. “Fuck yes,” whispers back before moving closer to lock their mouths together again.

***

Neil enters the cafeteria, grabs some food and moves to sit down at the table where Kevin and Nicky are already eating. He takes his jacket off and glances at the pouring rain outside, suddenly glad that Nicky made him buy one a few weeks ago.

He sits down, opening his water bottle and taking a sip while he scans the room full of people. He notices Aaron eating lunch with Katelyn on the other side of the cafeteria and Allison sitting a few tables ahead looking at her phone, so Neil brings out his own and texts her to wait for him after lunch since they’re headed the same way. After a few moments, Allison looks up from her phone and looks around until she finds Neil. Then she gives him a smile before returning to type on her phone and talk with the other Foxes sitting with her.

Neil starts to eat but after his second bite, he pauses as soon as he notices Andrew step inside the cafeteria doors completely soaked. The hoodie he’s wearing had not provided any protection against the storm outside. He watches as Andrew grabs his food and starts to walk in their direction. As he gets closer Neil takes notice of Andrew’s appearance, his blonde hair is plastered to his face and the hoodie is clinging to his body. Neil frowns; Andrew could get sick from this but after noticing Andrew’s annoyed face he decides not to say anything about it.

When Andrew puts down his tray at the table and sits at Neil’s side, Nicky takes one look at his cousin and comments, “You’re dripping.”

Andrew gives him a death glare that immediately makes Nicky return his attention back to his food. Then Andrew takes his drenched hoodie off, leaving him with only a thin loose black t-shirt.

While they eat, Kevin begins to talk about Exy, and Neil answers him without really paying too much attention. He focuses on how Andrew uncomfortable looks eating at his side, he can see that his shoulders are tense, and he keeps pausing to pull his sleeves down to cover his armbands.

Once Nicky finishes eating, Kevin starts to get up to leave with him. He looks at Neil who has already finished eating too, then to Andrew still eating his jello. He opens his mouth to speak but then he seems to change his mind and decides to follow Nicky outside without saying a word.

Neil bites his lip as he watches Andrew. “You can take my jacket if you want,” he says quietly once the others have left the cafeteria.

“What makes you think I want your jacket?”

“Just take it or leave it, it’s up to you.”

Andrew seems to consider it while he finishes his dessert. When he finishes eating, he grabs the jacket from Neil’s chair and puts it on, closing the zipper all the way up. Neil is glad that the jacket is a dark gray, because otherwise, Andrew might not have accepted it.

Andrew then grabs his drenched hoodie and they get up to put their trays back in place. Andrew gets out of the cafeteria to go to his next class while Neil walks back to Allison’s table to see if she’s ready to walk to his next class with him.

He stops at her side and she looks up at him with a devilish smile. “Where’s your jacket?”

Neil freezes for a moment, not expecting that question. She was either watching them during lunch or she just noticed Andrew leaving with the jacket on. He ultimately decides to ignore it. “Are you ready to go or not?” he says more harshly than he intended. Everyone else at the table looks up at him but he ignores their stares.

She gives him a bored look and gets up. “Fine, don’t answer. Let’s just go.” Then she grabs her purse and a massive umbrella before grabbing her tray and begins to walk towards the exit. Once they get outside she opens the umbrella and steps as close to Neil as possible to cover him too. And the moment they begin to walk in the rain Neil is suddenly glad they’re walking together to their next class since he would now get drenched on his way to class and be stuck in the classroom soaking wet.

“I fucking hate this weather so let’s walk quickly,” she tells him looking pissed and they begin to walk at a fast pace towards the building.

***

After his classes finish, Neil meets the others at the Maserati and Andrew drives them all to practice. Neil can see in the mirror Nicky sharing looks with Aaron in the back but doesn’t think too much about it. But when they enter the locker room with Andrew in front of them, he catches the rest of the team stealing curious glances towards Andrew.

They both put on their gear and head to court. After some warm-up laps, Andrew moves to his position as the goalkeeper and Nicky comes to stop near Neil. ”Was I seeing correctly?” he asks glancing in the direction of his cousin. “Was he really wearing your coat?”

Neil notices Aaron pause near them to try to listen in but Neil doesn’t care, so he answers Nicky loud enough for Aaron to easily hear it. “Because I told him he could have it.”

“Andrew was wearing your coat,” Nicky says looking strangely at him, “because you offered.”

“Yes,” Neil says, exasperated. He’s losing his patience, and he’s tired of people not getting Andrew. “Now go to your position, and stop with the questions, Nicky.”

“Yes, captain!” Nicky half shouts shaking his head and starts a slow jog to his place.

Not a minute later, Aaron moves to step in front of him. “Last year you said you didn’t swing,” he points out and touches Neil on the chest with his racquet, pushing him slightly back. “So what are you doing with him now?”

“None of your business,” Neil answers angrily, he’s done with all the questions for today.

“The freshmen think you two are dating but some of the others are betting you’re just fucking around. Which one is it?” Aaron asks him, sounding pissed off and stepping closer to Neil.

“Why do you even care?” Neil spits, clenching his fists in an attempt to control himself.

Aaron continues as if Neil didn’t speak. “He wouldn’t have broken our deal last year if it was the latter. Either way, I won’t let you fucking use him,” Aaron tells him angrily.

Neil doesn’t back down, he looks him in the eye and warns him. “Get out of my face now.”

“Or what–”

The sudden sound of something hitting hard against the plexiglass wall makes them both jump. They look to the side to see what had caused the sound, and they find Andrew with his racquet still against the wall from smashing it against it.

When Andrew sees them both looking at him he begins to walk towards them. Neil knows that the whole team is staring at them but he doesn’t care; if Aaron knew his own brother he would know that Andrew would never allow anyone to use him. Neil glances at Aaron, and fights the urge to grin when he sees him visibly tensing as his brother approaches them.

Andrew stops in front of them and crosses his arms. “Is there a problem?”

“Aaron seems to think that there’s one,” Neil tells him.

“Oh? Do you?” Andrew asks turning to focus on his brother. “And do tell, what’s the problem?”

“He is,” Aaron says in a pissed off tone.

“We’ve been over this last year,” Andrew points out and takes a step closer to his twin.

“Yes, but–”

“You got what you wanted,” Andrew interrupts him. “Don’t bother me again about things that are not your concern. Is that clear?” Andrew says in a bored tone, but his eyes say he’s anything but calm, there’s a fire in there just waiting to be unleashed if challenged.

Aaron takes a step back and looks between his brother and Neil for a second. Then he gives Andrew a nod and begins to walk to the other side of the court. Everyone else immediately starts to move around to get ready to start practice but Andrew turns to stare at Neil.

Neil takes a deep breath and takes one step closer to Andrew. “Your brother is an idiot,” Neil comments after looking over Andrew’s shoulder at Aaron’s figure still walking away.

“He’s not the only one,” Andrew informs him while looking straight at him. Neil rolls his eyes and begins to walk away. He can’t deal with any of this shit today, he wants to focus on Exy until his legs feel numb and his body is too tired for his head to think about anything else.


	6. Chapter 6

Neil follows Andrew to their usual spot at the end of the bus and sits down in front of him. Kevin had tried to go over what everyone had done wrong during the game as soon as the engine started running but Wymack had told him to shut up. So now, the bus was quiet as everyone settled down to rest during the journey back.

Neil has his forehead resting against the window to watch the blurry landscape as they travel but he finds himself keep coming back to stare at Andrew instead. He keeps thinking about the game they just lost against the Trojans — they’re a fierce team and the Foxes gave it their best against them but tonight it just wasn’t enough. Maybe they’ll play again against them at the finals; if there’s a team Neil would like most to face in the finals, it’s the Trojans.

Halfway into the journey back, Andrew slowly opens his eyes to look at Neil. “Staring,” he comments.

Neil averts his eyes again and takes a deep breath. He can feel the exhaustion setting in after the game but he’s too uncomfortable to try to properly rest the way he is. A few minutes later, Andrew nudges him with his feet so Neil looks curiously at him. To anyone else, Andrew would seem to be only staring back but Neil sees the unspoken question in Andrew’s face about what’s going on in his head.

“I was thinking about the Trojans,” Neil tells him, “and that I want to meet them in the finals this year.” Andrew rolls his eyes at that and Neil can almost hear him in his head calling him a junkie. But then after a moment, Neil continues almost in a whisper, “Jean seemed well with the team.”

Andrew visibly tenses at the mention of Jean and doesn’t say anything about it. “Try to rest,” he tells him instead.

“I can’t; not like this,” Neil explains, understanding that talking about Jean brings back too many memories from last year. He didn’t manage to talk to Jean after the game but in reality, he wouldn’t even know what to say to him after everything they’ve been through. Neil’s just glad that he found a good team to stay with after the Ravens.

Neil looks at Andrew and studies him for a moment. He has a foot resting between Neil and the window, and the other lazily stretched on the floor, looking as comfortable as he can be on the bus. After a moment, Neil decides to stand and sit next to Andrew to stretch his legs on the bench he was previously sitting on.

He tries to find a comfortable position to be in but doesn’t quite manage. He feels annoyed at himself; two years ago he would’ve fallen asleep anywhere he wanted, but now after getting used to sleeping in a decent bed every day that doesn’t happen anymore. He keeps moving around to get a into better position until Andrew speaks again.

“Stop moving,” Andrew tells him with his eyes closed. “Either that or move away.”

Their legs are touching so Neil tries to stay still to let Andrew rest but after a few minutes, he can no longer manage to do it. He shifts slightly again to find a better position to relax.

“Neil,” Andrew says it like a warning and opens his eyes to stare at Neil.

Nei looks sideways at Andrew, and notices the comfortable hoodie that he has on and begins to wonder if Andrew would allow him to lean against him. “Andrew, yes or no?” Neil asks tentatively motioning with his hand towards Andrew’s shoulder.

Andrew turns to stare outside through the window for so long that Neil thinks he’s not going to get an answer. “It’s a yes, as long as you stay still,” Andrew quietly replies.

For a moment Neil doesn’t move, too surprised that Andrew had just agreed to it. He blinks three times before he slowly moves to rest his head on Andrew’s shoulder to try to close his eyes for a few minutes. However, it doesn’t take long for his neck to start to ache from being bent in a weird angle.

Andrew, sensing his discomfort, sighs and shifts to put his arm that was resting on his lap around Neil, pulling him closer to his chest in the process. The hoodie feels soft against Neil’s face and there’s a faint smell of smoke on it from the cigarette Andrew had before they climbed onto the bus. The warmth from Andrew’s body reaches him making his body relax. Neil closes his eyes and grins, feeling safe where he is.

“One hundred and twenty-eight,” Andrew says as he squeezes his side in a warning. Neil tries and fails to stop the grin on his face. “Going on one hundred and twenty-nine.”

***

An hour later, Wymack parks the bus in their parking lot and rushes everyone to get out. Neil quietly exits the bus followed by Andrew, and they make a beeline for the Maserati to make the short drive back to the Fox Tower.

As soon as they park the car in the dorms and exit the vehicle, Kevin storms away into the building without waiting for them and Neil watches Aaron stop in front of Andrew with Nicky trailing behind him. He notices how Nicky is looking at his feet so Neil decides to start walking inside to give them some space to talk as a family. However, he almost curses when he finds himself walking behind Mike and Renee. He doesn’t want to be included in their conversation, so he slows down his pace to create some distance between them.

He’s about to enter the building when he hears Nicky call his name so he looks to the side and sees Nicky jogging to catch up with him.

“Hey,” Nicky says once he stops in front of Neil, “Andrew is asking for you.”

Neil nods slightly confused and wonders what they said to Andrew that made him call Neil back instead of meeting back in their dorm room. He walks back to the end of the parking lot where Andrew always parks and passes Aaron on the way. They glance at each other but neither one says a word. When Neil reaches the Maserati, Andrew is already inside with the engine on.

Andrew spares him a glance when Neil pauses near his open window. “Get in the car,“ he tells him.

“What about the others?” Neil asks, feeling even more confused after he steps into the car. Neil thought they were all going to Columbia like every other weekend, except Kevin, who had already told them before the game that he wanted to stay with Wymack in order to spend some time with his father. When his question is ignored he insists, “What about Aaron and Nicky?”

“Aaron wants to stay,” Andrew explains, “so Nicky is going to stay too. The upperclassmen already invited him to go out.”

Neil stays quiet until they enter the highway as he tries to process this. It was going to be just the two of them going to Columbia this weekend. He didn’t mind the idea; between practices, and classes, and sharing the dorm with Kevin they could never spend a lot of time together. The few moments they had alone were mostly on the rooftop.

“Are we going to Eden’s?” Neil asks once they reach their highway exit.

“No, let’s just stay in the house tonight,” Andrew answers him. Neil hums in acknowledgment and glances at Andrew; he feels exhausted and the idea of just going back to the house and not to the packed club sounds pretty good.

Once they’re at the house, Neil is about to go to the bathroom after Andrew to get ready for the night when he remembers that he never went upstairs to get his travel bag. “Andrew?”

Andrew sees him hesitating near the bathroom door and comes to stop near his side and glance into the bathroom. When he doesn’t see anything wrong he simply stares at Neil, waiting for him to continue.

“Is just that I didn’t go upstairs to get my bag and— ”

“There are some spare toothbrushes in the cabinet,” Andrew tells him and starts to walk towards his bedroom.

Neil nods; he can always go to the mall tomorrow and get a fresh pair of clothes for the weekend. Nicky would be happy to see him in new clothes as he keeps complaining about his old ones, but Neil grimaces at the waste of money that would be. He has a few new clothes already that Allison made him buy; there’s no point in buying more. It’s not like he’s just going to throw away all his old ones; those are still good to go to the gym.

When he steps outside the bathroom, Andrew points to his left at the top of the couch where a small pile of clothes is sitting and doesn’t bother explaining it.

Neil grabs the clothes and glances at Andrew. “Thanks,” he tells him, Andrew doesn’t acknowledge it other than glancing in his direction and returning to look at the TV screen, so Neil returns to the bathroom to put on the clothes. Both the sweatpants and the sweater are black. The sweater feels comfortable and loose on him since Andrew has broader shoulders and the clothes look very similar to the ones Andrew has dressed just now. Once Neil’s done changing he sits on the couch right next to Andrew.

They begin to watch an old movie but Neil is not really focusing on it. He feels exhausted from the day so not even halfway through the movie he makes himself more comfortable on the couch to try to rest by sliding down on the cushions.

Andrew turns his head to the side to study Neil. After a few moments, his hand comes to rest on Neil’s neck, guiding Neil’s head to his lap. Neil gets the idea and follows along, stretching his legs on the couch. Then he feels Andrew’s hand resting on his hair, and one of his fingers starts to make slow patterns on Neil’s scalp, making his eyes feel heavy.

Neil closes his eyes feeling content where he is. He starts to wonder what it would like to sleep next to Andrew. He’s expecting Andrew to get up to go to his bedroom at any moment but when it doesn’t happen Neil eventually turns his head to look up and finds Andrew with his eyes barely open.

“Are you going to sleep here?” Neil asks quietly. They’ve slept near each other before but not this close, not when they were close enough to be touching.

“No,” Andrew says. “It’s not a good idea, you know how I can wake up.”

“I know, and it doesn’t matter.”

“Don’t be stupid,” Andrew tells him.

“I’m not. All I’m saying is that I don’t care.” When Andrew doesn’t say anything else Neil continues, “If you lash out you’ll stop as soon as you understand what’s happening.”

Neil gives Andrew some time to think about it and when the hand in his head starts moving again, he presses on insistently,“ Yes or no?”

Andrew lets out a frustrated breath. “Yes, but not here. I’m not going to sleep on this damn couch,” Andrew finally tells him and removes his hand. “Now, move.”

Neil sits up on the couch and watches Andrew get up and start to walk in the direction of his bedroom. Neil blinks twice, wondering if he had heard right, that Andrew had just agreed to this. “Come on,” Andrew says to Neil once he opens the door and notices that Neil hasn’t moved from his spot on the couch.

When Neil enters the bedroom, Andrew is already on the bed with his back to the wall. “Are you going to just keep staring?” Andrew asks him when Neil doesn’t move from the door.

“No,” Neil answers, closing the door before walking to the bed. He climbs in and leaves as much space as he can between them. ”Tell me if you need me to leave, okay?”

“Yeah, or I can just push you off the bed,” Andrew points out. Neil rolls his eyes and watches curiously as Andrew moves closer to him, holding himself up with his arm. “Yes or no?” Andrew asks him, staring at his lips.

Neil licks his own lips subconsciously. “Yes,” he answers right away; he’s been waiting the whole damn day for this. They kiss until Neil feels his mouth sore and he’s too sleepy to move at all. And eventually, they fall asleep.


	7. Chapter 7

It’s Sunday afternoon when Andrew parks the Maserati at the Fox Tower. They step out of the vehicle and climb the stairs into the building. Once they reach the third floor, Neil opens the door and steps into the corridor. He immediately notices Dan and Allison talking near their dorm entrance, and at the sound of the door opening, they both turn.

“Hey Neil, did you get my message?” Dan asks when they get closer and once she notices the confused look on Neil’s face she continues, “About the movie session I planned once everyone was back at campus?”

Neil puts his hand in his back pocket in search of his phone but it isn’t there. He begins to frown, trying to think of where he could possibly have left it until Andrew interrupts his train of thought.

“You left it at the house, didn’t you?” Andrew asks looking sideways at him.

“Yeah,” Neil says turning to look back at him, suddenly remembering that the last time he touched his phone was the previous night when he placed it on the side table when he and Andrew were in the living room eating pizza.

“Fucking idiot,” Andrew comments, then he turns to Dan and asks, “Renee?”

“She’s inside,” Dan tells him and steps out of the door frame to allow him to pass. As soon as she’s out of the way, Andrew moves to enter the girl’s dorm room in search of Renee.

After a moment, Dan turns to share a look with Allison and then she grabs the doorknob to almost close the door behind herself.

“What?” Neil asks when they both turn to look at him.

“What’s up with you and the monster?” Allison asks straight to the point.

“What do you mean?” Neil replies “And I told you already: stop calling him that.”

“I mean what I heard the freshman talking about,” she starts. “I thought they were just making it up but–” she pauses when they hear the sound of elevator doors opening and she looks over her shoulder to see who’s arrived before continuing in a lower tone, ”but they aren’t, aren’t they?”

Neil freezes for a second not entirely sure on what to answer. He moves to the side to be able to see who just arrived and sees Matt stepping out of the elevator and walking towards them.

“Hey guys, am I the last one to arrive?” Matt half shouts from the other side of the corridor when he notices them all staring.

“No, go get your roommates,” Dan tells him; Matt gives her a nod and walks towards his room three doors down from where they currently are.

As soon as Matt opens his door and steps in, both girls turn to focus on Neil again. He sees Allison about to open her mouth but he speaks first. “Just mind your own business,” Neil tells them sharply and steps into their room to find Andrew.

***

Days later, once Neil is done with classes he waits for Nicky so they can go to the library together. Once there, they find Renee and Allison at a table and decide to join them. Neil has a Spanish paper due in two days so he pulls his laptop to work on it.

After what feels like an hour, Allison puts her manicured hand in front of his screen to break his concentration. Neil looks up and finds the others all looking at him. “What?” he asks.

“We were just making plans to go out for dinner tomorrow, and we thought that it would make Dan happy if we could gather the whole team for it,” Renee explains.

“You know, to unite the team like Dan keeps nagging us about,” Nicky adds.

“Okay?” Neil says unsure. He knows that not everyone will appreciate the idea. The twins won’t like it; Kevin won’t want to go unless he actually thinks it could help the team, and Mike still keeps his distance from everyone on their group after Andrew gave him that warning a few weeks ago.

“Can you talk to Andrew about it?” Allison asks him, almost as if knowing what he was just thinking about.

“What about Mike? I don’t think he’ll accept the invitation,” Neil asks instead.

“He’ll go,” Renee answers. “I’ll talk to him.”

“So? Will you talk to Andrew or not?” Nicky asks excitedly.

“Fine, I can ask but I can’t guarantee that he’ll agree to it.” After last year, Andrew hasn’t completely shut down the others but there’s only so much of everyone’s presence that he can handle at a time.

“Oh Neil, you’re so adorable when you say things like that,” Allison says with a smile.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Neil asks.

“Oh, nothing,” she tells him with a dismissive wave of her hand and goes back to look at her laptop.

Neil begins to frown, he doesn’t get what Allison means by that. But there’s really no point in trying to understand it at the moment, so he decides not to care and focus instead on finishing his paper.

***

It’s only when the floor is filled with empty takeout boxes from their dinner later that day that Neil decides to bring up the subject of dinner with the team. He looks at his roommates unsure about how to ask this. Andrew is sitting on his desk reading a book while Kevin watches the sports channel on the TV, so he gets up from his own desk to stand near Andrew. “How about tomorrow we go to dinner at the Italian place just outside of campus?”

“We can order in from that place, so why bother?” Andrew replies, not taking his eyes off his book.

Neil gives him an unimpressed look and adds, ”The whole team is going.”

Kevin mutes the TV. “Why?”

“To see if it helps to bring us together,” Neil answers glancing at Kevin. And judging by the thoughtful expression on Kevin’s face, he seems to be considering if it’s worth going or not.

“I think you’re spending too much time with Dan and Renee,” Andrew comments.

Neil rolls his eyes. “I didn’t say I believed a dinner could do that… but I’m willing to give it a try.” Neil’s not actually looking forward to the dinner but he’s not going to say anything, even if Andrew can read it in his face.

“Why tomorrow?” Kevin asks. “We won’t be able to practice at night if we go and we have a game in a few days.”

Andrew seems to consider what Kevin just said, then he closes his book and looks up to meet Neil’s eyes. “Fine, we’re going.”

Neil can’t help but roll his eyes again when he sees the look Kevin sends his way after hearing Andrew’s answer. He stares back at him and after a moment Kevin turns the TV off. “Take me to practice,” Kevin says to no one in particular and gets up, putting on his shoes and not pausing to see if they’re following him out of the room.

Neil puts on his shoes almost amused. Thanks to Kevin, convincing Andrew to come along had been way easier than he’d expected. He watches as Andrew walks in his direction to put on his own shoes. “Stop staring,” Andrew tells him without looking up from tying his laces.

“I wasn’t,” he lies and quickly looks away from Andrew’s back. Once Andrew is ready, Neil starts to walk towards the door. “Let’s go,” he tells Andrew and without looking back he starts to open the door.

Andrew puts his hand on the door to stop Neil from opening it.“One hundred and thirty-four,” Andrew states. Neil slowly looks to his side to face Andrew and begins to grin.

Andrew looks at him unimpressed. “Stop with that stupid grin,” he tells him and removes his hand from the door. “Kevin’s waiting,” he reminds Neil.

Neil takes a deep breath and looks away from Andrew. “I know,” he says and fights the urge to keep grinning.

***

The next day, after the Foxes finish practice they all go to the cars and make the short drive to the restaurant. Once in there, the waitress directs them to a big table reserved by Allison.

When they’re all seated, Nicky, Allison, and Dan start to make small talk in an attempt to fill the silence. Andrew, who is sitting at Neil’s side, has decided to glare at his brother sitting in front of him texting while they wait for the food, so Neil looks around the table to study his teammates. He knew this would be awkward, and he doesn’t really feel like joining in their conversations so he starts to listen to Kevin’s conversation with Caroline, a freshman that idolizes Kevin and is always eager to listen to him talk about anything Exy related.

Soon the food comes and everyone is busy eating. Neil half listens to the conversations around the table, and by the number of drinks already ordered he starts to wonder if he and Renee will have to drive everyone back to campus. He looks to Andrew’s side to see how much Kevin is drinking and he’s surprised to find him still with his glass half full and the bottle in front of him untouched. He seems to be too invested in talking about Exy to pay attention to the food. Neil notices, however, that Andrew’s currently holding his empty glass with his knuckles turning white from how tightly he’s holding it, and his expression indicates to Neil that he’s becoming annoyed.

Neil frowns, unsure on what is pissing Andrew off, until suddenly he remembers Andrew asking him last year if he could talk about anything else besides Exy. So Neil begins to talk to Andrew in a quiet tone by his side; about his school work, about Columbia, and as they eat he sees Andrew relaxing slightly by his side.

When they’re almost done with the food he notices that Andrew’s looking at the end of the table where Mike is sitting beside Renee.

“He has stayed as far away as he can,” Neil points out. “Just like you told him to.”

“Yes, he has.” Andrew agrees. “Renee must be teaching him some things,” he says in a bored tone and returns his attention back to his plate to take a bite of his remaining pasta. “He is her problem after all; we’ll see if she can keep him in line.”

Neil shoves some food into his mouth and thinks back to what happened with Mike. It’s been a few quiet weeks since he’s had people bothering him and he’s just glad for the peace. “Speaking of Renee, any predictions about that last book she let you borrow? The one about the maze?” Neil asks to try to change the subject away from Mike.

Andrew takes a sip of his drink before answering. “The girl is going to be a pain in the ass until the end.”

“Is she going to die?”

Andrew seems to consider it. “Probably,” he says, then he adds, “Renee is on the last book if you want to ask her.”

Neil hums in acknowledgment. “I’ll just wait for your summary of the book.”

“Why don’t you read it yourself?” Andrew asks him. Neil glances to his side and notices the corners of Andrew’s mouth turning upward, indicating that he’s amused, so Neil ignores him until dessert comes.

He’s already full so he only eats half of his ice cream. He sees Andrew eyeing his plate when he finishes his own so Neil pushes his plate to the side closer to Andrew as an offer. And after a moment, Andrew pushes his plate away in order to make room and brings Neil’s plate over to finish.

Not a moment later, Neil feels someone’s eyes on him so he looks up to scan the table. He finds Matt leaning towards Dan at the end of the table whispering while they’re both looking at him. Neil frowns at them until they realize he’s onto them and immediately they look away.

Soon they leave the restaurant and Neil drives the Maserati back to the building. When they park the cars at the Fox Tower, Matt calls after him so Neil walks towards his truck instead. They stay quiet as the others go inside and when Andrew is about to enter the building he pauses to stare at Neil. When he sees that he has Neil’s attention he taps the cigarette box he’s holding with one finger. Neil gives him a small nod to indicate that he got the message, that Andrew will be waiting for him in their usual spot on the roof, and turns to lean against Matt’s truck.

Once the parking lot is empty, Matt turns to look at him. “You know that you can talk to us, right? About anything?”

“Okay,” Neil says unsure where the conversation is going.

“Even if it’s about Andrew.” Matt looks down at his feet and shoves his hands in his pockets before he continues, “I mean, even I’ve started to notice some things.”

“Please stop.” Neil closes his eyes wondering how this is happening right now.

“Come on, I don’t know what’s going on with you too but you’re clearly hiding something,” Matt points out and they stay quiet for a minute. “I know you don’t like to talk about things but if one day you want to, we’re here,” Matt adds more quietly.

Neil takes a deep breath. “Are we done here?” he asks, and Matt starts to grin apologetically. “And we’re not hiding anything,” Neil clarifies before he begins to walk away. They’re not; whatever is happening is between him and Andrew.

Neil comes to a stop and runs his hand through his hair. “Thanks Matt,” he says after a moment and without looking back he starts to walk again towards the building. He knows that Matt means well, but things are complicated and he doesn’t have to explain anything to anyone, not until he’s ready to do it. He’s suddenly craving the familiar smell of smoke in the air so he rushes up the stairs to where he knows that Andrew is waiting for him with a cigarette ready.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh wow only one more chapter left. How crazy is this?? It seems that I started to work on this fic forever ago.


	8. Chapter 8

Neil feels ecstatic as he exits court, the loud sound of the crowd cheering behind him still buzzing in his ears. He feels exhausted but begins to grin; they’ve just won another game that pushes the Foxes further into the competition.

Wymack comes inside the locker room and takes a moment to look at his team. “Good game, everyone. We’ll go over it on Monday to see what we could have done better,” he pauses, “but for now get your asses in the shower and meet me at Abby’s, I’ve stocked her house before the game.” He gets loud cheers after that and everyone starts to get up to head over to the showers with renewed strength.

Once they’re ready, Andrew drives them all by Abby’s before going to Columbia. Neil watches curiously as Wymack signals for Andrew to follow him and when they reach the kitchen he hands over a bottle to Andrew without saying a word. Then Wymack walks away, leaving the two of them alone.

Andrew begins to open his bottle and leans against the counter and Neil decides to do the same. For a few moments, they stay in silence listening to everyone else laughing and talking loudly on the next room, then Andrew takes a sip and motions with the bottle in Neil’s direction. Neil shakes his head and after a moment, Andrew closes the bottle.

“I’m going to smoke,” Andrew states and shoves the bottle onto Neil’s arms before walking away. Neil watches him exit the kitchen and looks down at the bottle. Usually, he would have followed Andrew outside but the way Andrew said it makes him think that he doesn’t want to be followed for now, so Neil decides to join the rest of the team in the living room.

He pauses near Allison and Nicky, and looks around the room; he watches as bottles move around everyone to fill empty glasses. Until Allison notices him standing close to them and smiles up at him. “Neil, sit with us,” she tells him and moves slightly to the side so that Neil can sit on the arm of the couch without touching her.

“Oh, let me see that beauty!” Nicky says suddenly, looking at the bottle that Neil is still holding.

“You can have it,” Neil tells him and passes the bottle. He figures that if Andrew had wanted to keep drinking he wouldn’t have given him the bottle. And since Neil doesn’t plan on drinking it himself, he might as well get rid of it.

After pouring some into his and Allison’s glasses, Nicky continues the story he was telling before Neil got there. And soon, Matt turns to the side to listen in and steal the bottle from Nicky’s hands.

After a long while, Andrew appears and leans against the wall near where Neil is sitting and it doesn’t take long for Renee to come and stop at Andrew’s side. Neil can hear them talking but can’t really understand what they’re saying over all the noise in the room so he keeps listening to his drunk teammates.

In an instant, all his focus turns to Andrew when he sits down on the chair next to him where Nicky was until moments ago. They stare at each other until Andrew turns to look away and Neil blinks twice before he moves to look at Dan to try to follow what she’s talking about.

“Neil.”

“Huh?” Neil turns to the side to look at Andrew.

“It’s time to go,” Andrew explains; Neil nods in understanding and gets up at the same time Andrew does. They start to walk towards the door and Neil notices Aaron looking at his brother’s back for a moment. Then he calls Nicky over his shoulder and moves to follow them.

Neil and Andrew are already next to the car when Aaron steps outside and stops near the front steps. “I’m not going,” he claims.

Andrew gives him one hard look and leans back against the hood of the car. “Do whatever you want,” he tells his brother in a bored tone.

Nicky opens the door of the house and steps outside too. “Wait! I think we need to rethink this,” he stops for a moment and looks between his cousins that are staring at each other. ”Kevin is already completely wasted, and I’m not sure we can get to Eden’s in time for the last round of drinks,” he explains.

Aaron passes him by the door and comments. “Good thing I’m not going.”

“What, you’re not going?” he asks confused, turning to stare at Aaron’s back as he walks inside. “I’m staying, too,” he says quickly turning to look over at Andrew. And seeming satisfied when Andrew doesn’t say anything, he returns to the house too.

Once they’re both gone, Neil moves to stop in front of Andrew and watches him lit a cigarette. “Are we still going?”

Andrew takes a long drag and sends the smoke out into Neil’s face. “Yes.”

“Good,” Neil says and leans back against the car near Andrew. “I didn’t want to stay here the whole weekend.”

Once Andrew finishes his cigarette he goes to the driver seat and drives them to Columbia. The journey to the house is quiet. It’s the second time they’re going to Columbia alone, and it still feels strange to not come back with the others. The exhaustion from the game is starting to settle in, however, so Neil is glad that they’re just staying in, and as soon as they arrive they get ready for bed.

Once Neil is finished, he exits the bathroom. Seeing the open door to Andrew’s bedroom, he stops near the entrance. He isn’t sure if Andrew wants him to sleep in his bedroom or on the couch, and he knows not to take offense if Andrew doesn’t tell him to stay. “Where do you want me?”

“Here,” Andrew answers, not moving from his place on the bed.

Neil walks the small distance to the bed and lies sideways so he’s looking at Andrew. He tentatively moves his hand in the direction of Andrew’s chest. “Can I?

“Yes, Neil.”

Neil feels his heart rate accelerating with every inch he lets his hand travel. He moves from Andrew’s stomach to his neck. And when Andrew finally moves forward, the kiss is hungry, desperate; both are eager to close the distance between them and as Neil opens his mouth to allow Andrew to deepen the kiss, Andrew puts his hand on Neil’s waist and moves closer pushing Neil down so that Neil is lying on the bed.

Then Andrew starts to move to follow him but suddenly pauses so Neil opens his eyes to look at him. “It’s still a yes, Andrew,” Neil whispers, his voice sounds out of breath and he can’t help to blush when he looks at Andrew’s golden eyes staring at him with his swollen lips slightly parted.

“Shut up,” Andrew says right before he kisses him again. He moves to be on top of Neil, knees on each side of him and his hand starts to move under Neil’s shirt. Then Andrew stills, with one hand on the bed to keep some distance between them. “Let me see them,” Andrew says it like a question, not moving his hand from where it’s currently resting until Neil gives him his consent.

Neil doesn’t like people staring at his scars, but Andrew has already seen them, has already touched them, and he doesn’t mind the idea of Andrew touching his body. “Okay,” Neil answers him.

Andrew moves his hand to bring Neil’s t-shirt up and begins to let his hand wander around Neil naked torso. Neil thinks that this is nothing like last year when he let Andrew see and touch his scars for the first time. Andrew’s strong hands are now following every mark he has like he wants to memorize every inch of skin in Neil’s body. His touch leaves a trail of goosebumps and Neil loves the feeling of it.

Neil lets his hand move from Andrew’s arm to his shoulder and asks almost in a whisper, “How can you stand me touching you?” This question had remained in his head for the last few weeks. Andrew had implied that he felt comfortable with him but he never thought that Andrew would allow him this close, not after everything that had happened to him.

Andrew ignores him over tracing the scars in his abdomen. Then moments later, when Neil lets his hand travel to Andrew’s neck to pull him closer for a kiss, Andrew without taking his eyes from Neil’s chest tells him, “Don’t.”

Neil immediately freezes and takes his hand away. Andrew quickly grabs his wrist and looks up to meet Neil’s eyes. “This,” he says with a calm tone squeezing Neil’s wrist. “This is why.”

Then he pins Neil wrist up in the pillow and kisses him eagerly. Neil never pushed, he always respected Andrew and he stopped if Andrew asked him to, that wasn’t much, but it was enough for Andrew.

***

The next morning, Neil wakes up and looks at Andrew sleeping at his side. He thinks about getting up and go run around the block but Andrew looks so peaceful sleeping, and the bed is warm and comfortable, so Neil closes his eyes and stays there just enjoying the moment until sleep takes over.

Later, when he wakes up again, Neil turns to the side and studies Andrew’s face. He thinks about how the deal they made weeks ago got to this point. But it didn’t feel like a deal, not anymore. This was something more, something real between them, and it didn’t matter what the others thought or knew about it. All Neil cared about was the man lying beside him with sleepy eyes looking back at him.

“I know, I’m staring,” Neil says slowly, and it’s muffled by the sheets.

“Go back to sleep,” Andrew tells him and closes his eyes once again.

Neil doesn’t fall back asleep but remains in bed with Andrew. He quickly discovers that these quiet moments in the morning are everything to him. He can almost forget the outside world and their problems. In here nothing else matters, only him and Andrew. And he has never felt more alive.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe this fic is done! It was very fun to write it so I hope you guys liked it :)  
> Also I wanted to say thank you to those of you that followed this fic since I first started posting it. All the lovely comments meant the world to me <3<3

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on tumblr [@cosyblack ](http://cosyblack.tumblr.com) <3


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